Happy Shitsgiving!

It's the night before Thanksgiving. I've just finished making pumpkin dip and oh joy Regan needs her butt changed!

Tristin: "Mommy we should put that
shit in the pumpkin dip!"

Me: "Tristin Lyla! That's disgusting!
Stop talking like that!"

Tristin: "Happy Shitsgiving fart fart!"

Things Aunt Becky taught me!

OBX on holiday oh what fun! Tristin, Riley, Aunt Becky, and me went sand crab catching. Aunt Becky is will not use her hands to catch them so when the nets fail I go to work bare handed.

Aunt Becky- "Oh Lindsey get that big fucker!

Me- "Becky watch your mouth!"

Tristin- "WOW LOOK AT THAT BIG FUCKER HE IS BAD!"

Riley- "YEAH LOOK AT THAT BIG FUCKER!"

Little Carnivore

Tristin- "Ewwww why is Regan eating Lima beans?"

Me- "She likes them. Lima beans are her favorite vegetable."

Tristin- "Thats gross! My favorite vegetable is MEAT!"

A Rainbow of Colors

Tristin- "Aunt Becky, why do you have red hair, purple hair, and all those other colors?"

Becky- "because I can."

Tristin- "Well it looks stupid!"

A grandmother at 28!?!

Tristin- Mommy look I have a baby in my tummy and she is coming out tonight.

Me-Really?

Tristin- Yup, I'm all grown up now.

Me- How did the baby get in your tummy?

Tristin- A big bird put it there.

Me- Oh yeah?

Tristin- Yeah, he brought her in a trash bag in his mouth.

Me- It's a Girl?

Tristin- Yes her name is Baby Angel

Me- Oh so she is coming out tonight?

Tristin- Yeah I have to go to the doctor to get her out! She is hurting my back soooo bad! I just need to lay down and relax.

Me- well try to keep her in your tummy for at least 20 years ok.

Tristin- Mommy! I'm just pretending! I'm being aunt Erica!

Can you feel the love tonight?

Tristin's synopsis of The Lion King:

Uncle scar wants to be king so he killed Simba's daddy. That is so horrible. Now Simba only has his mommy. I hope that never happens to me.....because I don't want to be stuck with just you.

Put your best face forward

QUICK TAKE A PICTURE OF MY ASS!